how to be wild

how to be proud

do we owe it to each other

to be the fullest self

to search and dig

through the grit and rock

till fingernails break

and palms are blistered

but what we uncover on the way

we keep

we store within our soul

in layers shallow and deep

and don’t we owe it to each other

to fight to discover ourselves

for if we fail to do that

what would we ever learn?




i have forgotten

what it means to be real.


I have forgotten that skin and flesh

and soul and mind

belong to each other.


I have forgotten that my universe

and my surroundings

depend on each other.


I have been juggling two truths.


What my eyes see

and my skin feels


versus my imaginations interpretation.


whirled and battered is my internal perspective.


how could everything be so clear and clean and polished in my vision


yet chaotic and fluid

— where gravity pulls and twists

the matter of my thoughts

with such intense velocity

that a strand of sense is impossible

to grasp within my mind?


how does one make sense

of such a harsh contradiction?


that the reality my fingers brush

is so rigid and secure

but my reality

where i will infinitely reside

collapses only to re-morph

with every dash of truth it is confronted with


how am i to know which is real then?


there was a moment

when i decided to save myself.


when i thought: enough.

enough pity

enough fear

enough excuses


when i realized that being kind to myself

did not mean

following impulses

basing decisions off convenience


and there is no love without challenge

no reward without bravery


and as i suddenly decided to attack everything that scared me


my terror evaporated and melted into the dewy sponge of my past


and my phantom fear was just a stain in my memories


and I’m soaring.


kick me when I’m down

i want you to


throw stones at my soft flesh

until you bruise a beating heart


rock me and sway me

make me lose my balance


betray me until i’m left to wonder

if we are all just enemies


i welcome you to feast on my fear

i invite you to enable me to make myself proud


and i warn you

you will be disappointed


i am not an easy target

my passive days are passed


i will fiercely protect myself

and i will gladly argue darkness with light.